A practical guide to more empathetic management

McGeachy Consulting, LLC

Have you noticed that people are a bit more ... edgy in the workplace these days? From your direct report being moved to tears by well-meaning constructive feedback or that one person everyone tip toes around because they never know what might set them off, the world of work has definitely changed.

Organizational Development leaders have been talking about empathy and connection as qualities of inspiring leaders for some time but now, in this post-COVID era, when people are returning to the office, working hybrid, feeling overwhelmed, possibly even burnt out, pulled in many directions, empathy and connection seem vital to positive relationships at work.

But does it really make a difference? And how do you make it happen?

Short answer: yes, and practice.

The Center for Creative Leadership has found that “Empathy in the Workplace is positively related to job performance.” That's relevant to everyone, managers and individual contributors. Also they noted that managers experience two boosts to their performance by practicing empathy. First, they were viewed as a better supervisor to their direct reports. And, "Managers who practiced empathetic leadership toward direct reports were viewed as better performers by their bosses."

How to be empathetic in the workplace:

A lot of it comes down to how you interact in conversation with the people around you. Something as simple as using empathetic statements can really make a difference. For instance, when someone...

• shares bad news with you

• expresses a complaint (even if it's about you!)

• discloses their feelings or fears

...consider saying something like,

• I’m so sorry, I don't even know what to say right now, but I'm glad you shared this with me

• It makes sense that you feel ___________.

• It sounds like you've done everything you could

• I'm sorry you're experiencing this right now

• I understand how you feel

Empathy vs. sympathy

It’s also important to note that we’re talking about empathetic here, not sympathetic.

Empathy is digging into your painful past, pulling up your own feelings similar to what the person just shared with you, and responding. I know I'm in empathy with someone when I physically feel it in my chest. When someone shares that their family dog has passed, my body immediately pulls up those aching feelings, and I goes straight to empathy. “I'm so sorry to hear that. I don't even know what to say, but I'm glad you told me.” And then I usually say something like, “Let the ugly tears flow”, because I know from my own experience that it's healthier to let them out than hold them in. 

By noteworthy contrast, a sympathetic response would be something like; “At least it was only your dog and not a family member” (Ouch!”, or worse, “That will save you a bunch of money on dog food and vet appointments (double ouch)”. You know you have defaulted to using sympathy when the words at least are included in your response. 

Here are a couple of real-life examples to help you really integrate the difference:

Empathy in the Workplace, McGeachy Consulting, LLC

If you take away one thing from this blog, put a sticky note on your desk, reminding you not to use the words "at least" if you intend to be empathetic. And, watch yourself when you try and one-up someone’s situation when a dose of empathy would be beneficial instead.

I'm practicing using empathy to build better connections with people, I hope you will too. Our workplaces, and the world, need it.  

And, of course, if you’d like help in developing your managerial skills for this new world of work, I’m here to help. See how we can work together here.

Mental Health Support in the Workplace

Between a global pandemic, political strife, social unrest, school from home, our workforce is understandably stressed. The uncertainty all around us can lead to stress and anxiety. It may not be consistent, but it could be. It may come in rolling waves, or devastating tsunamis.

Leaders who operate small businesses a year ago may not have thought that workplace mental health would be a top priority. In 2021, these same leaders are seeking resources for their workforce. I’m fielding questions, can we provide mental health counselors to our workforce after a crisis? Or, what professional development workshops should we bring to our workforce to counteract external stress? These questions, or similar, are coming up weekly and have created an urgency to write this blog article. 

Setting a steady foundation for your workplace by using these five methods below can help empower, engage, and stabilize your workforce.   

Five things small businesses can do to support the mental health of their workforce:

1. Provide and promote your Employee Assistance Program (EAP). If an EAP is not part of your benefits package, add this benefit immediately. An EAP allows employees to call a 1-800 number or website to get assistance in various areas from mental health, finances, seeking legal help, etc. If you have an Employee Assistance Program be sure that the number is easily available to your workforce (and their family members). Promote your EAP regularly in newsletters, on your intranet, benefit handouts, etc. If your employee is in the midst of a personal or family crisis, make it seamless for them to find this information.  

2. Utilize an outside mental health professional to facilitate Well-Being Training for your workforce. Many times this can be coordinated through the Employee Assistance Program. Depending on the needs of your particular group, this could include tips and strategies to manage stress, disconnection, loneliness, or even anxiety. Hosting a training like this tells your workforce that their well-being is important and right now many people can benefit from that message and practical application.

3. Ensure that your managers have regular 1:1 meetings with each of their direct reports. These meetings are critical for workplace productivity, employee engagement and can even help with well-being if managers are skilled at providing space to employees. If you’re unsure how to facilitate 1:1 meetings here is a useful episode from Michael Hyatt’s Lead to Win podcast, episode #98 How to do one-on-one’s.

4. Give your workforce a break. Lay off just a little on production goals and focus on what’s going right for your individuals, team, and workplace. 

5. Provide appreciation to your team members for the work that they are doing. A study of over 100,000 employees found that 47% of people report that Words of Appreciation is their primary way they like to be appreciated, followed by Quality Time, Acts of Service, and Gifts (Emerald Publishing, 2017). Speak to your employees in their own language of appreciation to get the biggest return on your investment. Note: Want to learn more about the language of appreciation? See training opportunities here; Appreciation at Work, What motivates your team members? 

How can small businesses support their employees’ mental health?

What tactics are you utilizing to support mental health in the workplace this year? Please share in the comments below.

Earlier this summer I picked up the book Make Your Bed to read with my kids. It was a book I purchased on a whim at Target (hoping to inspire my kids!) written by Admiral (Navy Seal) William McRaven. It has a significant amount of leadership, personal fortitude, and integrity lessons throughout that are relevant to the workplace. The author told numerous stories that will stick with me. Most of the stories started with a lesson about himself as a Navy Seal trainee and then turned into a story about how someone else lived out the lesson. His style was humble even given his status as an Admiral.

We started reading it aloud chapter by chapter and it found its way on several road trips (a softball tournament, San Juans, the beach, Sunriver). With each chapter we had to stop and google information that was referenced including ‘hospital corners’ and what it means to a Navy Seal when they become a ‘sugar cookie’. We researched fascinating leaders, world history, and the rigors of becoming a Navy Seal — all while learning important life and leadership lessons.

It’s surely not your typical business book but the lessons and content are certainly relevant to people and workplaces.

As published in the Vancouver Business Journal on July 20, 2018

Sixty-nine percent of employees who experience a proper on-boarding stay on the job for three years. If that’s not enough to catch your attention consider this: 20 percent of turnover happens in the first 45 days (Click Boarding).

We know that no business sets out to create an environment of chaos or one that is unwelcoming or even one that is boring, but new hires frequently report that their on-boarding is all three. New hires often report that they don’t have enough to do. Sitting at a desk or workstation staring at the computer with nothing to do to be productive is dreadful. And, it happens to new hires frequently.

An onboarding plan is a method by which a company acclimates, engages and retains new employees (Society of Human Resource Management). On-boarding is the secret sauce to cultivating a great team.

What should be included in an onboarding plan?

 

Before the First Day:

• Stay connected to your new recruit between the offer and their first day.

• Start on-boarding before your new team member’s first day by sending a welcome email or even a video greeting. This email will tell the employee what time and where to arrive on the first day of work, what they should wear and perhaps a bit about their first-day schedule. It will also convey how excited you are that the team member is coming to work for you.

• Share the news with your current team about your new hire, their start date, and some details about their background. Proactive communication with your team will help create an inviting environment for the new hires’ first day and transparency for your workforce.

• Mail a card to the new hire signed by the entire team.

 

First Day:

• The ideal first day should have a fully booked agenda with minimal downtime. Okay, just a little to let the employee login to systems and email. But not too much or things get boring. Naturally, the first day will include a meeting with their manager and also Human Resources or Payroll for important first-day paperwork.

• Show team members that you are expecting their arrival by creating a new hire welcome kit and have it sitting on their desk on the first day. Perhaps add some company swag in the form of a water bottle, coffee mug or company logo-wear to their welcome kit.

• Power-up their workstation to include all necessary supplies, technology, usernames and passwords that will be important for their work. If applicable order business cards, name tag, and ID badge before their first day.

• Provide a tour of the office along with introductions. Also, include a map of workstations so that they can easily find team members after the tour. Give new hires access to an employee directory and organizational chart.

• Take the new hire to lunch. Make a plan to take the new team member to lunch either in a group or 1:1.

• End of day wrap-up. Schedule a check-in at the end of the first day. Ask what went well and what could have gone better to gather insight as you plan for the remainder of their on-boarding. Repeat this check-in often.

 

Beyond the First Day:

• Create a schedule for the first two to three weeks. Pre-set essential meetings throughout the first weeks so that the new hire knows what to expect. Ideas include: meetings with business leaders, meetings with peers, having them sit in or join a special task force or project.

• Plan a formal sit down, or 1:1, with the manager and new employee at 30, 60 and 90 days.

• Assign ramp-up goals. What should the new hire accomplish in the first 30, 60 and 90 days?

• Schedule time for the new team member to train on all aspects of the business, not only their department. Cross-training and introductions to all departments in the first weeks can be helpful.

• Ask the new hire to rate his/her on-boarding at the end of 90 days. What went well? What could have gone better?

 

How long is the onboarding process?

A full 90 days. Yes, it is more intense upfront with the first day planned out by every hour. As the on-boarding progresses, you can check in and guide less frequently. Managers fail though when they stop engaging with their new hire after the first two to three weeks and assume they are all set.

The ideal scenario with onboarding is that a business recruits a talented superstar and they meet their superstardom beginning on the first day. Engage them, train them and set them free to contribute their talents to the business. On-boarding can go one of two ways: an employee reports to their friends and family that “it’s fine,” or they report, perhaps even brag on social media, that they “made the best career decision ever.” It’s your choice.

Amy McGeachy, PHR, is an HR consultant in Southwest Washington and the founder of McGeachy Consulting and The Exceptional Workplace. She has spent nearly a decade working hands-on with small business owners to cultivate their workforce and create the kind of businesses they’re proud to lead.

It’s been a slow death, but the Annual Performance Review is for the most part, dead. Soon, we will no longer hear about the annual performance review from companies large or small. It’s a giant, unproductive exercise in project management for the CEO or HR leader with ineffective outcomes.

If you’re like most of the small business leaders that I know you have...

• Decided not to performance reviews anymore

• Forgot, ignored and have not done performance reviews in the past 1-2 years

• Never did annual performance reviews

 

 

Why are annual performance reviews so darn ineffective?

1. They are a recap of a year’s worth of performance. The employees in the 2018 workplace want to spend time looking at the present and the future. They don’t want to look back at 12 months of performance whether it was good or bad. They are asking, what’s next for me, now? What’s coming in the next 3 months?

2. Our workplaces are fast-paced.. Employees and employers need to have more regular communication about performance and waiting 12 months between reviews is simply too long to build any momentum or plan for development.

3. Managers were never really good at them. That’s right, when you do something only one time per year you never really get in a steady cadence to be consistent and effective. Besides, most managers begrudgingly did them just to check to a box.

And, I’m sorry! I have pushed the annual performance review in the past and even rolled out new systems to organizations. With a lack of employee/employer feedback it feels like an obvious tool to communicate but alas I think we can do better. We can communicate in better ways to create workplaces where feedback, goal setting, and coaching are frequent and executed with ease.

Now What?

Small businesses are embracing quarterly reviews. This can be a game changer for your culture, business goals aligned with individual goals, and communication. Let’s look at why and how to do this right.

I am a humongous fan of dropping the annual performance review and replacing it with quarterly reviews. This can be a game changer for your culture when business goals aligned with individual goals and communication. Let’s talk more about why and how to do this right.

 

 

5 Benefits of Quarterly Reviews

1. Cadence - Setting a quarterly cadence helps keep the goals top-of-mind and allows managers and employees to get good at having quarterly performance dialog.

2. Set achievable, top-of-mind, goals - Set goals that set are small bites (or at least bites of a bigger goal) which makes them easier to digest and accomplish.

3. Accountability - With a quarterly cadence, and setting meetings in advance, there is accountability built into the process.

4. Lightweight - Quarterly review are lightweight. They should be thought of a process that is used to manage performance and not an annual event that you do.

5. Feed Forward - Annual reviews were a tool to provide feedback. Think of quarterly reviews as a way to feed forward and look ahead at goals and performance for the coming quarter.

 

Here is how to start implementing a quarterly review process

Follow these steps below or use our Quarterly Performance Goals download to get started. The download includes a how-to guide, sample review, and a fillable PDF and it can be found on this site under Premium Content.  

Lay the Foundation - Develop a structure for your quarterly reviews including basic guidelines (who, what, when, where, why and how). Communicate the process to your team and allow time for questions. Also, communicate your goal for continuous improvement in this process. For example, at first we are going to start by using only 3 questions and a 1-page form...in the future, we may add questions and perhaps even utilize software to help manage the quarterly reviews.

Monitor and Improve - Once everyone has completed the first round of dialog seek feedback. Ask managers and ask employees so that you can get a sense of how things went. Look at the results of the review conversations (the quarterly review forms or documentation) for feedback.

 

Sample Quarterly Review Questions

Assuming you and your team member know the company’s overall goal and mission for the year let the quarterly review be a dialog. Both of you will come prepared to chat and come to an agreement on the following questions:

The beginning of the quarter:

• What are your goals for the quarter?

• How will you make progress towards those goal(s) this quarter?

• What tools and resources will you need to accomplish your goals?

• How does your goal contribute to the company’s overall business goals?

The end of the quarter:

• What was your biggest accomplishment in the past quarter?

• Describe where you struggled

• What’s one thing that could be going better?

Then, document what has been discussed (Google Doc, blank piece of paper, napkin, use this guide, whatever!) and make sure that both the employee and the manager get a copy.

Set a date for the next quarterly review 3 months out. Rinse and repeat.

Keep this process lightweight. One downfall of the ‘annual performance review’ has been the heavy burden that it creates for people. Your goal by changing your process is to make it effective and simple. If it’s too heavy and difficult you’re doing something wrong.

 

Download your How-to Guide and Quarterly Performance Goals Worksheet. Your guide to ditching the annual performance review and replacing it with employee-driven, actionable quarterly goals.

Ready ditch the annual performance review and replace it with employee-driven actionable quarterly goals? Consider joining The Exceptional Workplace premium content. There you will find the intuitive How-to Guide and a Quarterly Performance Goals Worksheet specifically curated for small and medium-sized businesses. Download your copy today and get started.

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